Fecal Vision

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Someone left a lovely gift in the center stall of the Men’s room at the office today. It was a smallish sausage-shaped turd. The most disturbing part was that it was reddish in areas (perhaps robofish red) leading me to believe said person had a bloody expulsion. Whether this happened during stall entry or exit still remains unclear. I have a forensics team studying the positioning of the feces as we speak. I will also be sneaking DNA samples from all men in the office (and maintenance personnel–I’ve noticed a definite increase in these sorts of discoveries ever since they have become more prominent on our floor).

This serendipitous encounter had me thinking about the qualms of the blind. Public restrooms must be horrifying. Being unable to visually inspect the toilet surface, the bowl contents, spy potential floor mines and gauge occupancy are a nightmare I hope to never experience.

Good day.

Exhaustion

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Today I am exhausted.

Yesterday, nearly a dozen of us from work took part in a manly activity called the Boot Camp Challenge. It took place at the Marine Corps Recruitment Depot in San Diego. Three mile run with obstacle courses along the way. We got to climb over walls, through tunnels, into foxholes and more. It was fun, but not nearly as physically taxing as the Mud Run we did earlier this year. It wore me out, but that isn’t why I am exhausted.

Last night, Erika and I passed out at 6:00 PM. We awoke 15 hours later. That is more sleep than I get during two nights. Too much sleep makes me exhausted, but I’m sure my body thanks me.

It’s your Civic Duty, son.

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One of the greatest feelings in life is waking up early in the morning and realizing you don’t have to get up for work or school so you can go back to sleep. For as long as you want. I discovered a situation that brings a similar satisfaction today. When I picked up my mail, there were two envelopes. A bank statement, and (shit!) a Jury Summons. For a moment I was upset, I had Jury Duty less than a year ago. I’m not supposed to get it more than once a year! Then, a wonderful feeling passed through my body—elation. The envelope was addressed to the prior tenant. I don’t have Jury Duty!

For now.

Later in my apartment I came across something strange. As I was collapsing on to my bed as I frequently do—sitting or easing into bed is boring—I felt a hard substance in an old pillow I was awarded by my ex-girlfriend. Since I recently purchased two quality pillows (living the high-life) and I am a very curious person, I cut open the pillow. Inside was a pair of headphones. I thought maybe the pillow was set up this way so one could plug a cord into it and hear music, but there was no plug. Either it had been ripped off or that wasn’t the case. If I was paranoid, I would concoct a ridiculous story about how the government is magically using cheap headphones to monitor my activity. I’m not and they are not.

Perhaps they should be.

Book and Site Launch

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Fourchinnigan Publications releases 12 Years Ill Spent and chinnypub.com

LOS ANGELES, CA—10 September 2006—Fourchinnigan Publications releases two atrocities on an unsuspecting public: chinnypub.com and 12 Years Ill Spent, Fourchinnigan’s first book. Some people spend their lives seeking a cure for cancer, fighting injustice, or chasing hot chicks. Fourchinnigan spends his time polluting the Earth with bad comics and scribbles he calls art. Witness the horrors he has unleashed over the last twelve years in his 184-page debut graphic novel, 12 Years Ill Spent. It showcases various short comics and comic strips created between the years 1994 and 2005. Included are: Post Mortem, Mister Fourchinnigan Arcs #1-7, Jacket Man #1-2, Miracle Explosion, Dweezlebwob 634, and more. The book is available online through Print-On-Demand company, Lulu and retails for US$13.95 and shipping. Find out more at chinnypub.com.

Chinnypub.com is the online home of Fourchinnigan Publications. 12 Years Ill Spent and all future publications by Fourchinnigan will be available through chinnypub.com. Fourchinnigan Publications is the print division of Fourchinnigan Productions, found online at 4chinny.com. Fourchinnigan Publications specializes in illustrated fiction targeted at teens and adults. Future plans include children’s literature.

Face Recognition Thing

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I tried this 3 times with varying results. One test gave me Kanye West and Bob Marley. Oddly enough, I never got Sean Penn who I have been compared to hundreds of times. One time I did get Matthew Fox, which is one I have heard before. So here is who a computer says I resemble. Enjoy.

[edit-website apparently dropped their hosted images so you can’t see the chart anymore…this is why I usually don’t externally link]