Tag Archives: tears

The Requisite Update

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I’ve avoided this post for a long time, but I suppose now is a good time considering I can’t sleep. I haven’t really posted in awhile and a lot has happened and a lot has changed in that time. 2006 has been a very odd year so far, full of big changes. Some are great, some are terrible, some are still pending.

The year began with me miserable at work. I was ready to quit and take some risks involving my own business. Precisely at the last moment, I was offered a promotion to a Design position. I was at first reluctant, but then decided to accept it. It was a good decision. I am much happier, making better money, and learning lots of new and valuable things.

During this time, my great-grandmother, Mima died. That was one of my last posts. That is one of those inevitable moments I have dreaded my whole life.

Shortly thereafter, my girlfriend of eight years and I split up. The details don’t need to be paraded around here, but it boils down to this: while our relationship was great and she still means a lot to me, a certain amount of necessary passion had fizzled out and we couldn’t rekindle it.

I am now living alone in a studio apartment and I have a new girlfriend. She is a great girl, she makes me happy, and makes me feel things I’ve missed for a long time.

I’m still doing puppet shows regularly and I have been offered additional lucrative comics-related freelance work. Hopefully, this will all help me get my debt in order and finally buy a car. I haven’t had one in four years.

Things are promsing, but that doesn’t change the difficulties of getting there. I have always been relatively comfortable being alone, I often preferred it even while Jennifer and I were dating. Now, it’s really hard to be alone. It’s very uncomfortable, but I imagine it is necessary and beneficial I work through it. Some times I feel like a part of me is missing and I am living in a surreal parallel world I don’t recognize. This is going to be a very difficult, but seminal year in my life. I hope it works out for the best and I hope everything works out well for Jennifer too. Although we both want to remain friends, I fear that won’t be possible. That fills me with a pain I find hard to cope with.

I’m not one to cry much. I hadn’t cried in a few years that I recall. This year, there have been many tears.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. This sort of post is out of character for me. I’ll be back to sarcasm and violence soon.

-Chinny
Glendale, CA
Monday | 10 April 2006 | 2:04 AM

Greatest Lady Gone

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Back in High School and College when I used to do drama, I would sometimes try to eke out tears or melancholy emotions by thinking of the saddest thing I could. Wednesday that “saddest thing” happened, my great-grandmother died. My parents called me that night and I caught a flight to Louisiana shortly after midnight. Irma (eed-ma) Sosa was born in Cuba in 1912, but no one called her that. Everyone called her Mima, which means “mother.” It was a very apt name. Mima only spoke Spanish and a handful of English words. She also spoke a silent language, an ancient language everyone can understand. Everyone who met Mima loved her, whether they could understand her or not. She was a saucy old lady and a prankster known to brandish a broom like a billy club. She had almost no belongings, anything she owned she would give to someone else. She made the best black beans on Earth and she always made sure everyone had something to eat. Joy for her was making everyone else happy. Nothing I can say here can even begin to do her justice. Everything I like best about myself came from Mima. I’ll always miss that old lady. I’ll miss her hobbling in like Yoda at Christmas time with a big grin on her face. I’ll miss hearing her call me “Yason” and my uncle “Estebey.” If everyone could be a little bit like Mima, the Earth would be paradise.

Things will never be the same.