A long time ago, I lived in the forest. It was fun, but I got sad. The world was big and I wanted to see it. I had a picture of my daddy and I hoped I might find him. My fur was different from other bunnies especially on my face. That is just like Einstein.

He was different on his face. That is what I heard anyway. That is how the world seems to be working, I think. People tell you things and that is how you know what is real. Einstein said that stuff was affected by other stuff. Like, if you go real fast and light tries to keep up with you; but you have better shoes and run a little bit faster, then things get kooky. Light can't keep up, so it gets real tired. It starts to run out of breath and so it quits. Then time is all funny because light is his brother. He feels sorry for his brother being slower than you, so he quits too. Then, there is a thing called "time dilation." It is a lot like going to the eye doctor.

That is what Einstein said except without all the big words. I learned this from a book and from my friends I met in the "real world" (that's what they call it). They are nice people. They live on corners with me sometimes and sell people without good clothes or money medicine that they can't get in the stores. The real world is a nice place. It makes me feel cozy.

All things are relative.

I have just as much of a chance to become the president as I do to become the janitor of a Piggly Wiggly. That is how it is supposed to work...but that is not how it is. You have to know people to get to become president. And the people you get to know are all your relatives.

I don't know about you,but my relatives sure as hell couldn't help me to become president. But I am sure one of my relatives went to high school with someone who is now manager of a Circle K. For that matter I probably went to high school with some one who is manager of a Circle K. I wonder if they have been shot when their Circle K got robbed? Because you know the Circle K has been robbed. It's all relative to the job.

So I guess my interpretation of Einstein's Theory of Relativity is don't count on your relatives for help to become president because if they would have suceeded that much in life would they have bothered to have you?...and If you work in a Circle K, Einstien would put good money on the chances of you getting shot.