MUDAFUKEN'S MONSTROSITY

MUDAFUKEN KOALA:

Deep in a dark secluded portion of the forest, a wee koala was born. He was the only koala in the entire forest. No creature had seen another like him. He constantly had to fend off the lady beasts with his furry paws. One day, he discovered a cassette tape. He stumbled upon a means to listen to it, a discarded jambox. It was rap music. He would never be the same. Angry, ferocious, and with a newfound love for vulgarity, Mudafuken Koala screams "FUCK THE WORLD!" daily from his cozy tree as eucalyptus dances across his tongue. The angriest koala this side of Eminem's bedpost posts his hatred for all things and you too..


5.1.2002
Mudafuken Koala/11:13 AM

Hey mother fuckers!
THE BIATCHEZ AER COMING QUICKLY! TEH KATT IS HERE! Youknowwhatimean!
Fine fine...that penguin rulez. He gots teh skills faggots!!!!!!!!!!!1 MOTHERFUCKERS! I MISSED YOU! JEESH! THE ALBUM IS DOING FUCKING WELL YA KNOW...tha groupies...
WHATEVER...see ya motherfuckers...

-Mudafuken_koala

3.30.2002
Mudafuken Koala/10:16 AM

Yo, brothers. Wattup? I was reading my homie's new post...he asked me about a jazz/reggae/rap beat...WHY NOT, my dear Penguin? We can come up with a jam session ya know...so see you tomorrow near the big three at...uhm...at 6.00 o' clock...aight. See ya, man. Peace.

-Mudafuken Koala

Mudafuken Koala/2:57 AM

Shit! There's a new friend here in the fuckign forest! Rasta Penguin! He's here with me, smoking MY shit and drinking MY shit...but he's cool! He looks cute and calm...anyways. My LP is selling very well. I saw a bunch of little kids...boy scouts i think just cussing and swearing like me. "Bite me" "fag"...ahh they are so lovely. Uhm...i have to go now...i have some stuff to do...youknowhatimean...yo. Peace.

-Mudafuken_Koala

3.27.2002
Mudafuken Koala/8:27 AM

Yeah! Finally i'm back! I was working with my crew! The new Lp (The Koala Mathers LP) is out now! Go and buy it mother fuckers! New violent hip hop! I write my shit with my other 4 dawgs: Koala Mc Veigh, Dirty Koala, Koala S. Bizarre, Koala Porter. We are nasty like a bitch with 40 fucking husbands, god damn it. In our new LP there are 14 tracks.

1. Public Service Announcement 2002
2. You can't kill a Koala
3. A Koala like me (Feat. Fat Joe)
4. Motherfuckers i'll be right back!
5. I hit 'em up (R.i.p 2Pac)
6. East forest sucks...(Skit)
7. East forest sucks.
8. Hoes, ganja all day long
9. Gold (Skit)
10. Cock the biscuit, bitch!
11. Mudafuken_koala
12. I'm the cutest Koala
13. Nigga, nigga, nigga.
14. Outro (Feat. Fourchinnigan)

That's it, bitches! Go and buy our new LP!
See ya later, niggaz.

Mudafuken_koala

3.9.2002
Mudafuken Koala/2:22 PM

Yo niggaz...i have to fucking go...i'm damn sorry...but shit...there is a fucking party at the river...and i must go...ok...aight.

Peace

Mudafuken Koala

Mudafuken Koala/2:18 PM

I'm a dirty ass pimp...you have heard that...what if you are in your period...whore...i'm going to fuck your body...

Mudafuken Koala/1:37 PM

Yo mother fuckerz! Wazzup? I was hangin out with mai biatchez! Shit...i fucked 'em with no baby lotion...you guys are just great. Oh....i know a guy...a woodpeek...youknowwhatimean...he's got the cash...and the shit...so if you want some ganja and shit...just ask...and i'll give you da ganja. I can assure you that his shit is the best...i'm gettin so dependent on weed...last night i spent a G at the peanut machine...while my hoez were blowin my sac...youknowwhatimsayin?...yo...then a mother fucker asked me some shit about...a guy named...Jason...Jason Milligan...and i said: "who the fuck are you talkin about, nigga?"...and he said..."This fucker is a bastard...he knows the address of that club..."
And i said: "Chill out man...what's the name of this club??"..."The fucking name is "380'll Slug Mofo"...it's a cool club...near Fuzzy's house...and i wanna fucking go to that club..."
Shit...this Jason Milligan is a bastard...i swear to god that i'll find this guy...

HEY JASON!

I'M COMING!

Mudafuken Koala

3.8.2002
Mudafuken Koala/10:04 AM

Yo mothafuckaz...

My mudafuking Mooovee

Vote 5!

Peace.

Mudafuken Koala

3.7.2002
Mudafuken Koala/12:40 PM

Respect the fucking game...you are just a slut...a hoe...a dirty ass hoe...i'm gonna slap the shit out of you hoes...i'm your pimp you my bitch...nigga gimme the fucking keys...da ghetto is wating for me...sluts...

3.6.2002
Mudafuken Koala/12:44 PM

Yo fools...i'm having damn lunch...mmh...erm...mh...tasty...

Mudafuken Koala/12:01 PM

Yo niggaz...i wrote a rhyme...yo.

Mudafuken, first I took the underground over
The well-known asshole brought y'all whore
Then the industry start interestin me
Now I'm sellin record like da Marshall Mathers LP
Mr. Koala, the name has occured
in your conversation, but the face is a blur
And if you never spoke my name, nigga you heard
Got word, from that mega bitch that stay bootleggin
Underground since the Fu-Schnickens
Or underground since Chi-Ali was fuckin with them stupid bitches
Different species
Shittin on you punk motherfuckers
with an eucalyptus type of feces

Mudafuken Koala

Mudafuken Koala/7:42 AM

Man : "I'm gonna call this motherfucker...Oh fuck yeah...give him a piece of mind...a piece of my ass..."
Operator: "Thank you for waiting...Hello, may I help you?..."
Man: "Oh thank you...I need to make a collect call..."
Operator: "What number?"
Man: "Oh the number is ****8 - 3*****
Operator: "At the tone, please say your name..."

*Blip*

Man: "Koala Kaniff, from Connecticut...automated piece of shit..."

*Click*

Mudafuken Koala: "Yo?"
Man: "Hi there Mudafuken..."
Mudafuken Koala: "Who's this?"
Man: "This is Koala Kaniff!..."
Mudafuken Koala: "WHO???..."
Man: "Koala Kaniff...from from Connecticut, you little bitch."
Mudafuken Koala: "From Connecticut? I don't know nobody in Connecticut..."
Man: "Yeah, you wanna get a hotel room with me?"
Mudafuken Koala: "A hotel room?"
Man: "Yeah, you want me to lick your ass, Mudafuken Koala?"
Mudafuken Koala: "Yo, who is this, Cage?
Man: "You want me to fuckin melt in your mouth and not in your hand? Melt in your ass you little cock boy..."
Mudafuken Koala: "Yo, shut up you little bitch..."
Man: "Oh, you think I'm lying huh..."
Mudafuken Koala: "Hahahahahaha..."

This shit really happened...that's some funny shit...

Peace

Mudafuken Koala

3.5.2002
Mudafuken Koala/2:51 PM

Hey chinny, god demmit...teach me how to fuckin upload pictures...i wanna post a lot of pics here...

Mudafuken Koala

Mudafuken Koala/2:36 PM

Yo mothafuckaz...this fuckin Blog thung is a bitch...i wrote 2654 fuckin pages of shit to post on chinny's forest...i pushed "post and publish":..and guess what?!?!? An error message..."you are not logged in"...god damn bitch i logged in...i must log in to fucking write and post...faggot ass bitch...ok...sigh...i gots to fucking go...i gotta get freaky with my dem hoes in da hoodz...youknowwhatimsaying? Aight...

Peace niggaz

Mudafuken Koala

Mudafuken Koala/10:48 AM

Yo fools...i'm back...i was rolling with my biatchez and we went to a club inside a cavern. A cool crew was fucking playing. They rocked the place. Yup...

*Dlin dlin dlin dlin dlin*

Uh shit...my fucking mobile phone...

"Yo........................................WHO???............................................N*GGA YOU ARE TRYIN TO KILL ME???...................................N*GGA PLEASE.................................YEAH....YEAH RIGHT.......................................UHHH.........................YEAH.....................YEAH..................PEACE N*GGA.............."

Erm...it was a prank call...anyways...

I'm going to a disc shop...it's near the fucking river...see ya fools...

Peace

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